Way 13 - Listen carefully to your conscience

Let u scome near to God with a sincere heart and a sure faith, because we have been made free from a guilty conscience and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Hebrews 10:22

Billy Graham correctly observed, "Most of us follow our conscience as we follow a wheelbarrow. We push it in front of us in the direction we want to go." To do so, of course, is a profound mistake. Yet all of us, on occasion, have failed to listen to the voice that God planted in our hearts, and all of us have suffered the consequences. God gave you a conscience for a very good reason: to make your path conform to His will. Wise believers make it a practice to listen carefully to that quiet internal voice. Count yourself among that number. When your conscience speaks, listen and learn. In all likelihood, God is trying to get His message through. And in all likelihood, it is a message taht you desperately need to hear.

The Bible says:

So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man. Acts 24:16

Let us come near to God with a sincere heart and a sure faith, because we have been made free from guilty conscience, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Hebrews 10:22

I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live. Job 27:6

Great thoughts:

A good conscience is a continual feast.~Francis Bacon

The convicting work of the Holy Spirit awakens, disturbs and judges.~Franklin Graham

Summary: The more important the decision...the more carefully you should listen to your conscience.

Way 12 - Use God's word as the guide for your relationships

All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

If you'd like to know what God has to say about your relationships, here's how you can find out. Read the book He wrote - it's called the Bible and it has timeless advice for life here on earth and life eternal. The Bible is unlike any other book. It is a priceless gift from your Creator, a tool that God intends for you to use in every aspect of your life. And, it contains promises upon which you, as a Christian, can and must depend. God's Word can be a roadmap to successful relationships and spiritual abundance. Make it your roadmap. God's wisdom can be a light today, tomorrow, and everyday of your life - and then walk confidently in the footsteps of God's only begotten son.

The Bible says:

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. Proverbs 30:5

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Great thoughts:

It takes calm, thoughtful, prayerful meditation on the Word to extract its deepest nourishment.~Vance Havner

God can see clearly no matter how dark or foggy the night is. Trust His Word to guid you safely home.~Lisa Whelchel

Summary: Trust God's Word: Charles Swindoll write, "There are four words I wish we would never forget, and they are, 'God keeps His Word.'" And remember: When it comes to studying God's Word, school is always in session.

Way 11 - Decide how far is too far [And stand firm by your decision]

All who indulge in a sinful life are dangerously lawless, for sin is a major disruption of God's order. 1 John 3:4

How far is too far? It's a question that lost of people ask themselves, and you probably will too. And to discover the answer, think about it like this: the Bible teaches that your body isn't just a body, it's a temple - God's temple. And if you're dating a person who won't keep their hands to themselves, they're trying to trash that temple. Don't let them do it! And remember: it's not okay to trash the temple 'just a little bit' - don't trash it at all! Father's order.

The Bible says:

Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son. 2 John 1:9

Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1

Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generousity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. Romans 3:23

Great Thoughts:

Sin is in the world. And sin is "missing the mark," missing God's perfect plan. There is so much of this missing the mark that it is going to impinge on every person's life at some point.~Catherine Marshall

Repentance is a complete surrender of my sinfulness to the only One who can cleanse me from all sin, and that is Jesus Christ.~Elisabeth Elliot

Summary: Never accept blatant dishonesty as a part of any relationship, and never accept physical or emotional abuse from anyone, especially those people who are closest to you.

Way 10 - Remember: Cooperation builds relationships

Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Hebrews 12:14

Are you dating someone who understands the importance of cooperation? Or are you seeing someone who's more self-centered than that? And before you answer, here's something to consider: happy couples learn the wisdom of "give and take," not the foolishness of "me first." Cooperative relationships flourish over time--- one-sided relationships done't. So if you're dating someone who says, "It's my way or the highway," choose the highway. And choose it now.

The Bible says:

A kingdom that is divided cannot continue, and a family that is divided cannot continue. Mark 3:24-25

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family. Matthew 5:9

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! Psalm 133:1
Great thoughts:

Cooperation is a two-way street, but for too many couples, it's the road less traveled.~Marie T. Freeman

Teamwork makes the dream work.~John Maxwell

Summary: If you're dating someone who doesn't consider your feelings, you're dating the wrong person.

Way 9 - Insist upon shared values

Be on guard. Stand tru to what you believe. Be courageous. Be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13.

Is God a part of your dating life? Hopefully so. If you sincerely want to know God, then you should date people who feel the same way. If you're still searching for Mr. or Mrs. RIght (while trying to avoid falling in love with Mr. or Mrs. Wrong), be patient, be prudent, and be picky. Look for someone whose values you respect, whose behavior you approve of and whose faith you admire. Remember that appearances can be deceiving and tempting, so watch your step. And when it comes to the important task of building a lifetime relationship with the guy or girl of your dreams, pray about it! IF you happen to be one of those very lucky ones who has already fallen madly in love with the same wonderful person who has (praise the Lord!) already fallen madly in love with you, say a great big thanks to the Matchmaker in heaven. But if you haven't yet found a soul-mate who honors both you and God, don't fret. Just keep trusting your Father in heaven, and keep yourself open to the direction in which He is leading you. And remember: When it comes to your dating life, God want to give His approval - or not - but He won't give it until He's asked. So ask, listen, and decide accordingly.

The Bible says:

Teach me Your way, Oh Lord; I will walk in Your truth. Psalm 86:11

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3

My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments. Proverbs 3:1

Great Thoughts:

As the first community to which a person is attached and the first authority under which a person learns to live, the family established society's most basic values.~Charles Colson

Sadly, family problems and even financial problems are seldom the real problem, but often the symptom of a weak or nonexistent value system.~Dave Ramsey

Summary: Look beyond appearances: Judging other people solely by appearance is tempting, but it's foolish, shortsighted, immature and ultimately destructive. So don't do it.

Way 8 - Insist upon mutual respect

Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and ths is what you get. Matthew 7:12.

Do you respect yourself enough to demand that your dates respect you too? Please, please, pleae answer that question with a resounding YES! Why? Because if you don't respect yourself, other people (including, but not limited to members of the opposite sex) may find it easy to take advantage of you. Think about it like this: the more you respect yourself, the more likely you are to make smart decisions... and the smarter decisions you make, the more reasons you'll have to respect yourself - it's a cycle of good decision-making that reinforces a well-deserved, positive self-image. But what if you find that your self-image could use a tune-up? Well, try these five simple steps: 1. Don't do things that you know to be immoral, imprudent or impulsive. 2. Make teh consious effort to invest youself in activities that improve your own life and the lives of others. 3. If you're beset by negative self-talk, put an immediate stop to the mindless ramblings of you rinner critic. 4. Associate yourself with people who encourage you to think and behave in wyas that are pleasing to God. 5. Ask your Heavenly Father to guide your path and direct your thoughts. When you take these simple steps, you'll respect yourself more, and you'll demand the same kind of respect from the people you date.

The Bible says:

Remember that those who do good prove that they are God's children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God. 3 John 1:11

The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20

Great Thoughts:

If you are willing to honor a person out of respect for God, you can be assured taht God will honor you.~Beth Moore

Don't be a half-Christian. There are too many of them in the world already. The world has a profound respect for a person who is sincere in his faith.~Billy Graham

Summary: Be choosy: Don't "settle" for second-class treatment-you deserve someone who values you as a person...and shows it.

Way 7 - Decide how you'll behave yourself before the dat [not during the date!]

The prudent see danger and take refudge, but the simple keep going and suffer from it. Proverbs 27:12.

If you contineu to date somebody who behaves foolishly or impulsively, then sooner or later, you'll probably find yourself doing impulsive things too. And that's bad... very bad. So here's an ironclad rule for maintaining your self-respect and your sanity: If you find yourself out on a date with an impulsive person who's pressuring you to betray your values, go home and go home fast. Otherwise, before you know it, you'll be in more trouble than you can imagine. When you feel pressured to do things - or to compromise yourself - in ways that lead you away from God, you're heading straight for major league problems. The best time to decide how you'll behave yourself is before you go out on a date (not during a date!) So don't do the "easy" thing and don't do the impulsive thing. Do the right thing and do it every time.

The Bible says:

To acquire wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish understanding will prosper. Proverbs 19:8

Whoever listens to what is taught will succeed, and whoever trusts the Lord will be happy. Proverbs 16:20
Anyone who listens to my teachings and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won't collapse, because it is built on rock. Matthew 7:24-15

Great Thoughts:

You're busy with all the pressures of the world around you, but in that busyness you're missing the most important element of all - God's ongoing presence that is available to you. ~Bill Hybels

How busy we have become...and as a result, how empty! ~Charles Swindoll

Summary: Put the breaks on impulsive behavior... before impulsive behavior puts the breaks on you.

Way 6 - Beware of Temptations

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Face facts: you live a temptation-filled world. The devil is hard at work in your neighborhood, and so are his helpers. Here in the 21st century, the bad guys are working aorund the clock to lead you astray. That's why you must remain vigilant. In a letter to believers, Peter offers a stern warning: "Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). What was true in the New Testament times is equally tru in our own. Satan tempts his prey and then devours them (and it's up to you - and only you - to make sure that you're not one of the ones being devoured!) As a young adult in search of godly relationships, you must beware because temptations are everywhere. Satan is determined to win; you must be equally determined that he does not.

The Bible says:

The Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations. 2 Peter 2:9.

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Ephesians 6:11.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8.

Great thoughts:

Flee temptation without leaving a forwarding address. ~Barbara Johnson

Because Christ has faced our every temptation without sin, we never face a temptation that has no door of escape. ~Beth Moore

Summary: If life's inevitable temptations seem to be getting the best of you, try praying more often, even if many of those prayers are simply brief, "open-eyed" requests to your Father in heaven.

Way 5 - See through the media's distorted messages about sex

For those whose lives are according to the flesh think abou tthings of the flesh, but those whose lives are according to the Spirit, about the things of the Spirit. Romans 8:5

Sometimes it's hard being a Christian, especially when the world keeps pumping out messages that are contrary to your faith. The media is working around the clock in an attempt to rearrange your priorities. The media says that your appearance is all important, that your clothes are all important, that partying is all important and that sex should be "recreational". But guess what? Those messages are lies. Period. Are you willing to stand firm agians society's untrue messages? And are you willing to stand up for your faith? If so, you'll be doing yourself a king-sized favor. And consider this: When you begin to speak up for God, isn't it logical to assume that you'll also begin to know Him in a more meaningful way? Of course you will. So do yourself a favor: forget the media hype, and pay attention to God. Stand up for Him and be counted, not just in church where it's relatively easy to be a Christian, but also outside the church, where it's significantly harder. You owe it to God... and owe it to yourself.

The Bible says:

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If you love the world, the love of the Father is not in you. 1 John 2:15

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith. 1 John 5:4

Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of the world is foolishness with God. For it is written, "He cathes the wise in their own craftiness." 1 Corinthians 3:18-19

Great thoughts:

The problem is that the culture seeps into the chruch, bringing with it a religion without commitment; spirituality without content; aspirations and talk and longing, fulfilment and needs, but not much concern about God. ~Eugene Peterson

Fashion is an enduring testimony to the fact that we live quite consciously before the eyes of others. ~John Eldredge

Summary: Don't trust the media's message: Many of the messages that you receive from themedia are specifically designed to sell you products that interfere with your spiritual, physical, or emotional health. God takes great interest in your health; the moguls from Madison Avenue take great interest in your pocketbook. Trust God.

Way 4 - Hang out with the right crowd

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17.

Some friends encourage you to obey God - these friends help you make wise choices. Other friends put you in situations where you are tempted to disobey God - these friends tempt you to make unwise choices. Are you hanging out with - and dating - people who, by their presence and their influence, make you a better Christian? Or are you spending time with people who encourage you to stray from your faith? The answer to this question will help determine the condition of both your relationship and your spiritual health. One of the best ways to ensure that you follow Christ is to find fellow believers who are willing to follow Him with you. And if you can't find friends like that, you're looking in the wrong places.

The Bible says:

I thank my God upon every rememberance of you. Philipians 1:3.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:11.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13.

Great Thoughts:

Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. ~Rick Warren

We, as God's people, are not only to stay far away from sin and sinners who would entice us, but we are to be so like our God that we mourn over sein. ~Kay Arthur

Summary: If you want to meet new people, go to the places where you are likely to bump into the kind of people you want to meet: you probably won't find the right kind of person in the wrong kind of place.

Way 3 - Understand that premarital sex is wrong

But because sexual sin is a danger, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2.

The fact that you are reading these words means that you're concerned about the issues of abstinence - and you should be. You live in a society that is filled to the brim with temptations, distractions, and distortions about sex. You are bombarded with images that glamorize sex outside marriage. In fact, you are subjected to new pressures and problems that were largely unknown to earlier generations. And at every corner, or so it seems, you are confronted with the message that premarital sex is a harmless activity, something that should be considered "recreational". That message is a terrible lie with tragic consequences. God has a plan for your life, a plan that does not include sex before marriage. So do yourself a favor: wait. Abstinence is a choice: your choice. Please choose wisely.

The Bible says:

You will teach me how to live a holy life. Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever. Psalm 16:11.

You can be sure of this: The Lord has set apart the godly for himself. Psalm 4:3.

But wisdom will help you be good and do what is right. Proverbs 2:20.

Great thoughts:

To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation. ~St. Augustine.

Your thoughts are the determining factor as to whose mold you are conformed to. Control your thoughts and you control the direction of your life. ~Charles Stanley.

Summary: If you're thinking about having sex before marriage, then you should also think long and hard about the options you'll have if you conceive a child. The best time to think about the responsibilities of being a parent is before you get the results of the pregnancy test, not after. And, if thinking about those options leaves you with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, then don't have sex until you're married.

Way 1 - Decide who's first (if you answered God, you're right)

No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us -- perfect love! This is how we know we're living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He's given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. 1 John 4:12-13

Here's a quick quiz: Whose expectations are you trying to meet?
A. Your date's expectations
B. Society's expectations
C. God's expectations

If you're a Christian, the correct answer is C., but if you're overly concerned with either A. or B., you're not alone. Plenty of people invest too much energy trying to please their peers' (or their date's) expectations and too little energy trying to please God. It's a common behavior, but it's also a very big mistake.
A better strategy, of course, is to try to please God first. To do so, you must prioritize your life --and your relationships--according to God's commandments.

Are you having trouble choosing between God's priorities and society's priorities? Are you feeling overwhelmed or confused? If so, turn the concerns over to God--prayerfully, earnestly, and often. Then, listen for His answer... and trust the answer He gives.

Helping you to get closer to God

Ok, for the next 30 days, am gonna be posting little devotionals from a book I have called "Dating and Sex - 30 ways to Godly relationships"... I just feel I am suppose to be spreading the word of God and try to help my friends to grow with God... Feel free to leave your comments and opinions on whichever one you please... Or if you don't want to comment, I have fixed my posts to contain reactions at the bottom...  Let's see how this goes...  Apologies, pages are missing from the ending of the 1st and the entire 2nd way, other than that, everyhting is good... There are 4 parts to each devotional: Body, Bible readings, Greath thoughs and a summary... The following is and introduction to the book:

Because you've picked up this book, you're probably a young adult who's a member-in-good-standing of the dating world... and what a world it is.  Your world is filled to the brim with distractions, temptations, and mixed messages, messages about what it means to be single, and what it means to be dating.  Unfortunately, far too many of these messages are dangerous to your physical, mental and spiritual health.


This book addresses topics of profound importance to young adults like you who seek to build meaningful, godly relationships.  Each brief chapter of this text is intended to help you build - and reinforce - the kind of relationships that both you and God can be proud of.  The ideas in each chapter are powerful reminders - reminders of God's commandments, reminders of God's promises, and reminders of God's blessings.  So do yourself a favor by reading at least one chapter a day for the next 30 days.  When you do, you'll be reminded that God's immutable laws apply to every aspect of your life, including your dating life.  If you acknowledge God's rules and if you  apply them, you'll soon find yourself makine wise choices - choices that will improve your day, your life and your relationships.